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Preview — Get the Guy by Matthew Hussey
Most dating books tell you what not to do. Here's a book dedicated to telling you what you can do.
In his book, Get the Guy, Matthew Hussey - relationship expert, matchmaker, and star of the reality show Ready for Love - reveals the secrets of the male mind and the fundamentals of dating and mating for a proven, revolutionary approach to help women to find lasting love.
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Published March 5th 2013 by HarperAudio (first published January 31st 2013)
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Being a male, I read this book out of curiosity and I was surprised how good it was. It deals primarily with inner game and attitude and most of it can be applied to both men and women. Therefore, I believe it is actually too narrowly marketed to female readers. There are some passages that deal with 'the inner lives' of men and from a male perspective they resonated with me. I can now better understand why previous relationships of mine did not work out. I very much enjoyed that Matthew does no..more
This book's approach reminds me of that old Steve Martin comedy bit, 'How you can have one MILLION dollars, and NEVER pay taxes..first, get a million dollars. Now---'
The book is described as providing dating tips that still let you be you, and don't require any gamesmanship to meet and keep a quality man; neither claim turns out to be true. In a nutshell, the book's how-to can be boiled down to this:
1. Get an amazing, irresistible life.
2. Be an amazing, irresistible person.
3. Stop being insecur..more
Jul 09, 2013Kim rated it really liked it
This is a great book, but it's more of a broad 'this is how you should live your life' philosophy book. So if you're expecting a detailed how-to-capture-a-man-step-by-step manual, you'll be disappointed.
A lot of what Hussey says is common sense, but some girls (like me) who are kind of clueless with men need to hear it. I like that the tone of this book is very hopeful and optimistic, and his advice is two-fold: not only is it about improving your dating life, but it's also about improving yours..more
Eh. Most of the advice in this book was geared towards making you feel like you have to be a Manic Pixie Dream Girl in order to land a guy. There's a lot of unsettling talk about constantly sexually validating your man in order to keep him (or else he'll cheat!). I'd say at least 80% of this book is useless or hurtful. I have a particular problem with Hussey's repeated insinuations that if you are good enough, you can tame that bad boy who doesn't want to commit. Read: it's your fault he's not c..more
What if I told you there was a simple, concise, no-nonsense manual on how to find, attract and keep your ideal man? Sounds too good to be true? Well, such a book exists; it is written by the world’s leading relationship coach and love guru, Matthew Hussey.
From the very first word typed in the introduction, the Get the Guy book is launched from the very sobering platform of “love is hard.” A very clear and accurate portrait of love is etched across the canvas of the first page; just reality, a no..more
Jul 08, 2014
Liza rated it
really liked it Shelves: non-fiction, non-fiction-advice, kindle, kindle-library
It's a basic book telling you what you already know, but somehow have forgotten along the way. While the videos were cute (I could directly open them on my Kindle) what made them annoying was that Hussey kept saying, 'Like this video. Now buy more man getting secrets!' It just had a scam feel to it, which I didn't like.
Basically this book is asking you to be more open, take more chances, and not let men walk all over you. You know this, I know this, but sometimes you need to hear it from someone..more
Jun 18, 2014Lin rated it it was ok
Well, I sometimes learn more form people I disagree with than from people who always have the same views. This book was okay, I liked the general self-development parts but when it comes to dating advice it's not my cup of tea. However, I enjoyed seeing things from his perspective, especially when it drifted into being a little autobiographical.
When I started reading this book, I immediately was challenged by the thoughts being introduced. However the advice to be a woman of high value and not to settle was compelling. No woman in her right mind wants to settle for less and that is easier said than done.
Matthew goes over and beyond. Not only does he tell you want you need from his heart, he then explains the concept with his analogy about the train or other examples and quotes. Although you have to get out there and try.. What I find..more
May 16, 2013
MissAnnThrope rated it
really liked it · review of another edition
Shelves: 2013, library-book, non-fiction, self-help
18 May 2013
Admittedly, I am a cynic when it comes to matters of the heart and self-help books on relationships don't even make a blip on my radar of books to read. However, after watching Matthew Hussey on Ready for Love, his insight resonated deeply with me and my curiosity was piqued by Get the Guy: How to Find, Attract, and Keep Your Ideal Mate. I probably would have hesitated to pick up the book if it weren't for my best friend's high recommendations, and I'm sure glad she nudged me to read..more
Funny one. Be ideal and your chances will improve significantly. Not really inspiring, huh?
The book was better than I expected, but not by much. The methods presented are the ever annoying catch-22 plans.. don't be too intimidating, but be 'high-value.' Be sexy, but don't make him think you're a slut. Be straightforward, but in a flirty, non-threatening way!! Not rating it 1 star because the first part of 'how to meet guys' is mostly solid advice.. namely 'don't live in a hole, the more people you meet the likelier you are to meet 'the one..' and that meeting and being friendly to..more
May 04, 2013
Sara rated it
really liked it · review of another edition
Shelves: self-help, library-book, non-fiction, 2013, want-to-read-again
Very interesting.
Matthew Hussey really has a compassionate voice. The writing in this book felt like he was cheering you on and that he truly desired you to be the best you can possibly be. He instantly felt like someone you could trust and be safe with- and I don't know how to describe the specifics in his writing that made me feel this way.
I found many things in this book interesting and I would read it again.
Oct 11, 2018Nereid rated it liked it · review of another edition
I picked up this book out of curiosity as I saw it online in a feed on my Facebook page. I do not agree with all that this author has said but some things did ring true. It kind of reminds me of that book an movie 'He's just not into you' which was popular a few years ago. It is interesting concept on how differently the two sexes think and feel regarding certain matters. It is definitely is a good dinner conversation starter that's for sure.
Jan 18, 2017PeterBlackCoach rated it really liked it · review of another edition
Read this book as a result of a request for advice from a single female client - and being out of my depth, thought I would get some different views. I consider Matthew Hussey has provided a good insight into the male mind together with some great suggestions for females wanting to 'Get the Guy'. Of course, everyone will need to apply their own goals, values and principles in reading this book - then work out what is best for them.
Jul 02, 2013Jill rated it liked it
Some really painful misspellings, but some solid ground advice. I didn't care for the advice on when to have sex with a guy, but other than that and a few really awful edit misses, I found it to be a pretty informative read. PS - I HATE self-help books and especially lame relationship books. I still felt like this one was not a waste of my time.
• style 4/5
• plot ---
• impact 4/5
• derived information 3/5
summary: 3,5/5
The best on that topic, I've ever read.
Edit: I'm coming back and giving this work full 5 stars! Those strategies I now use daily and with amazing results. Thank you Matthew!
Apr 26, 2019Nicole Johnson rated it did not like it
I liked the whole thing about being social and chatting up everyone. After that, I personally just could not get over the fact that every single reference was geared toward the Caucasian population. Every time a woman was described, the visualization was that of a white woman. All of the men who were described, also that of white men. I know it may not matter to most and many may not understand, but, as a woman of color, it's nice to know that you see, hear and recognize women of color. It was d..more
Aunque el titulo del libro/audiolibro da el indicio que es un libro para atraer citas, el autor lleva el tema a un nivel distinto y se enfoca mas en como crear valor en uno mismo. En lo personal, no considero que sea un libro exclusivo para solteras pues pone un panorama realista de como piensan los hombres, que aunque ellos aseguran que son simples, para una a veces no lo son tanto..
Trata temas como inseguridades, citas, trabajo, pasatiempos de una manera simple y divertida.
Muy recomendable!..more
Jun 03, 2017Srimanti Chtj rated it really liked it
Thought this was an interesting book; not the usual self-help book. Good insights into both men and women.
I love this book! Despite being primarily a 'dating' advice book, I got so much more from Matthew. He really drills into you the idea of being high-value (which he knows we inherently are.) What I loved about this concept is that it translates to many other areas of life. I feel like the contents of this book are what everyone knows to be true, but no one wants to admit to themselves. It offers many practical suggestions for confusing situations, many of which I wish I had used myself in the pas..more
Nov 12, 2013Colleen Wainwright rated it liked it · review of another edition
DON'T JUDGE. Okay, go ahead and judge. There's a hot-pink cover emblazoned with a cheesy graphic that practically begs you to. But like a few other entrants in the how-to-date genre (If the Buddha Dated, Why You're Not Married Yet, and even He's Just Not That Into You), this book contains a lot of good information/support on establishing boundaries, remaining true to oneself, and communicating needs clearly and consistently in relationships of all stripes, not just romantic ones.
I'd be very (VE..more
Oct 18, 2017Catherine Oughtibridge rated it really liked it · review of another edition
I genuinely enjoyed this book. Yes, it was a light read, and reading it felt frivolous, but the message hit home.
Apr 29, 2018Vinh Khang Nguyen rated it it was amazing
If you think this is a book for only women, you must be wrong.
Whether you want to seek a man or a woman of your life, lessons taught by Matthew are true for almost every one who longs to find the right partner, and build a life of fulfillment with your partner.
I won't say much about the content. But the book left me with whole new different points of views on how relationship works, and how we should be prepared, creating options for our relationship life, not just waiting for a lovestruck, firs..more
I read this book a chapter a day for 22 days.
Each day I wrote down my opinions of it's content, but while reading it I went through many phases of emotion and although I feel that I picked up some valuable information, reading this book has made me feel bad about myself at a very disheartening level.
Below is my summary of the book. Please be aware that as the book went on, many of the chapter's became shorter and more focused on one single aspect.
Chapter 1 of Get The Guy basically says that I..more
I have been following Mat since his early videos on youtube so for me the middle part of the book was a little boring because I kinda knew most of what he had to say.
yet, most of the opening and ending chapters were relatively new and I can say that overall it was a nice read. While the main focus of the book is on 'getting the guy' it still offers strategies on becoming a woman of value and building a social circle in general.
at some parts of the book I was reminded with 'act like a lady, think..more
This book is amazing. Interacting with guys as a married woman is so different from interacting with them as a single one! It's been extremely helpful to have this book to learn how to talk to guys again especially now that texting and online dating are so big. Haha. Something Matthew emphasizes is being a woman of value with high standards that you stick to as a way of attracting the right people. I've heard this advice in church for years but was never sold on it until he presented it. His adv..more
I had the chance to listen to this book, hence the 5 stars - the content is great but the author's passion about this, his friendly tone, his dedication to spreading his valuable message to women (confidence, integrity, independence, playfulness) are what really sold me. I would recommend and gift this to all my girlfriends.
Matthew empowers women and motivates them to see themselves as ‘high value women' women who depend on looks and emotions will not have a good relationship. This book is quite excellent on the topic. I quite like his encouragement in believing in women to display variety personality and be more then a woman to the man she loves. I would recommend for anyone to read this book as I enjoyed reading.
Sep 22, 2013Tue rated it really liked it · review of another edition
I read this mainly to see what advice from a guy would give, since I'm tired of advice given to my girl friends on blogs. I liked this book because it emphasizes developing your own life to attract the type of guy you want.
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Matthew Hussey (born June 19, 1987) is a British television personality, human dynamics coach, and New York Times Bestselling author. He currently stars on NBC's Ready for Love.
“Remember, the pain of rejection is nothing compared to the pain of regret.” — 22 likes
“Having integrity is about knowing what your own standards are and being completely comfortable with them.” — 8 likes
More quotes…
Matthew Hussey.
Never heard of him? Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one. This man was completely unknown to me until recently. Hussey is a British television personality and life coach, who has been deemed an “expert” on love advice. He is also a best-selling New York Times author, having written Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve.
How I discovered him:
Like any other person my age, I spend a large portion of my day consuming media- specifically, YouTube videos. While I’m willing to shell out a few bucks a month for a premium Spotify subscription and some Adobe products, I don’t have it in my heart to pay for YouTube Red. So, I’m left to endure terrible ads. Usually I’m able to ignore a commercial’s first ten seconds and press ‘skip’, however, a few times, I was presented this ad.
“In this video, I’m going to show you three ways to compliment a guy to make him fall for you.”
Oh, boy howdy! Where do I begin? How could I possibly turn this ad off? It sent all my “broadcaster” senses a-tingling! Here we have a well-groomed, attractive man, sitting in front of a white background. No distractions, no flashy clothing.
He is the center of the viewer’s attention. His opener is short, sweet, and to the point. “You have a desire, and I’m going to help you fulfill that easily.” He follows this with a call-to-action, saying to watch until the end because he has something “very special” that we don’t want to miss.
A gift? For me? From this handsome, British man? Best call me a pike, because he has me hook, line, and sinker.
In all seriousness, this ad did catch my attention. This really began to peak my curiosity when this ad continued to pop up for me on another five or six videos. Did my online activity pinpoint me as a single woman who so desperately needed a man, that I needed to seek a complete stranger’s help? Did I seem incapable of attracting a mate?
Alright, I was being unfair. Some people benefit from getting a bit of relationship advice. I decided to dive into Hussey’s media presence and YouTube channel, and see what I could find.
3 Types of Advice
Matthew Hussey appears to have divided himself into three different Love Gurus.
First, you have the love guru who appears on the NBC show “Ready for Love”. Hussey appeared on the program as one of three matchmakers, helping three men decide between their own set of twelve women, to find their future brides. Hussey’s opening statement on the show was “Matchmaking is about getting inside the male brain to get what you want.”
On “Ready for Love,” the matchmakers coach the women for their dates and give advice on how to catch the contestant’s eye, make a lasting impression, and make the most of their time with the contestant. Hussey seems to focus a lot of his advice on “doing the right thing.” He has a set idea of what’s the right way and the wrong way to get with a guy. This makes sense, as Hussey says in an interview on “Ready for Love,” that his background as a life coach soon led him to holding love advice conferences for men. He would hear a lot of what men were and weren’t looking for, and he’s built up a repertoire of dos and don’ts for courting those of the male gender.
Next, we have the Matthew Hussey you meet on a luxurious retreat! For the right price, that is. Change windows boot logo windows 10.
Thanks to the success of his book, Hussey has expanded his work into a series of products that you can purchase on his website howtogettheguy.com. These products read like the article titles in every edition of Cosmo.
These products appear to focus on 'fixing' yourself and your mistakes in order to achieve the ultimate goal: getting to take home your very own man. They sit in a very stark contrast to his larger product: The Retreat.
The Matthew Hussey Retreat, or at least the upcoming one, is a five day event in Florida, where each day, you and a large number of other women, will spend each day looking at yourself, your values, your current life as it stands, and everything that might be standing between you and the person you want to be. This retreat focuses heavily on finding happiness for yourself through changing aspects of your everyday life. These changes are meant to make you more confident, thereby making it easier to find and build a relationship with a man. I keep repeating 'man' specifically, because in all of the research I did on Hussey's advice videos and packets, he never seems to mention the option of having a relationship with another woman.
All-in-all, the retreat appears.. intense. There are tasks before the retreat that are asked of you, such as keeping diaries regarding your activities, emotions, and discoveries. The following days revolve around understanding your goals, other people's motives, and eventually learning to let go of your own insecurities and pushing yourself to take risks in your day to day life.
These things don't sound terrible! They seem like sound advice to give someone who wants guidance badly enough to spend a large amount of money. It's an investment in themselves, after all. While I couldn't find the exact price of the retreat on Hussey's website, an English writer for The Telegraph said her retreat ticket costed over £3,000 ($3845).
Finally, I had to look into our third Hussey, the first one I encountered.
The YouTube Hussey.
At this point, Hussey didn't seem so bad. Sure, he had some gimmicky advice products and seemed to cater to women who were down on themselves, but he is a life coach, after all. And not all of his advice seemed awful. But I still had this uneasy feeling about him, and all of it stemmed from that first video I had seen.
Looking into his YouTube profile, his videos seem like, for lack of a better term, clickbait.
How to Get Back With Your Ex!
How to Make Him Melt!
How to Stop Attracting the Wong Guys!
Get His Attention at a Party!
What He REALLY Means When He Says Yada yada yada..
It's all just so simple.
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Matthew Hussey's videos are presented in a way that makes dating into some sort of game. He formats men into puzzles that women are too distracted or nervous or blind to figure out.
A lot of his advice circles around what it takes to get a man, but none of his content addresses what it means to actually sustain a relationship. He barely talks about communication, and instead lays heavy on how to act coy yet confident. Hussey's work comes off as a gimmick. It's all just set up from an entrepreneurial stand point, rather than a humanities one.
He doesn't treat a relationship as an investment in a partnership, but rather as a Twinkie at the end of a stick. 'If you just stop and think about the situation or who you are for a second, you'd be smart enough to reach out for the Twinkie, instead of waiting for IT to come to YOU!'
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Look, I might be a bit young to be giving relationship advice, and maybe you enjoy Matthew Hussey's work, and if so, that's fine. But for me, the best advice I was ever given for a relationship were these three things:
1. Don't let a significant other define you. In the end, you live with yourself. Don't let another person decide who you're going to be.
2. Be an adult. If something is bothering you or if you wonder if you're bothering them, speak up about it. Nothing good is ever born from silence and fear.
3. Do things for one another. Be it a small or a large gesture, this will be what they remember at the end of the day.
And that advice extends to all sorts of relationships, not just romantic ones.
Be yourself. Be honest. Be kind.